Winning the Time Lottery

Warning:  The following comments do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the author, some republicans, most aliens, a few plumbers and a handful of doctors of chiropractic.

What's the single, most precious commodity in our lives today?  Some will tell you minerals, air, water and a few other non-essential things created billions of years ago.  But what about the aspect of time?  I've been promising myself to take up writing at some level for the past 17 years and never seemed to have enough time.  That is until last weekend when several of my friends pinned me up against a wall, held a knife to my throat, a gun to my head and a pair of nail clippers to my finely manicured nails, giving me no option but to begin writing inside the safety of something known as the Internet.  I capitalize it only because it was rumored to be a Noun and it somehow assumes the role as a proper name.  Still mulling over that one......

I used to look at time in a fantasy perspective "someday when I have time I'll get my broken watch fixed" or "someday I'd like to organize all the time I've wasted in my life into 13 categories" (mindless lists lose their meaning after 15 so I throttled back a couple).  What many of us do, subconsciously I believe, is place the idea in our heads that time will evolve into some sort of investment, generating a Bernie Madoff like return on investment.  However, many times after some sort of major life event, we come to realize that "that ain't ever happenin', Yo!!" 

Buying time, making time with your best girl, time out, time is not on our side, time after time, love you long time, time for a change, time to take out the trash, time travel, time value of money, Timex, Swiss time, Central Standard time.  This time stuff permeates our lives at every level and we continue to take it for granted.  Is it any wonder that the addiction to multi-tasking is so prevalent in our culture, aided, in large degree, by technology?  Face it folks, if you’re alive today and you don’t have ADHD/ADD, you’re hosed!!  How is it even possible to begin, let alone continue, any conversation that has any consequence if indeed there is any consequence?  (Paraphrased from the late Bobbie Knight)  Looking at the sheer number of demands we all have upon us this very moment in time should cause your adrenal glands to shudder, or at least sigh.  Where in the world am I going with this?  Quit asking so many questions, it’s starting to annoy me.

Pull up a cactus and have a seat my friend.  I’d like to share something with you.  God gave me a ton of free time last Friday at about 1:47pm or somewhere around there.  (The following is a cleverly created description reissued only twice before this so act like it’s off the cuff and wickedly cute)  I got voted off the island where I work.  Typical scenario that always seems to get ratings:  vote off the guy with the best looking pecs and killer gluts because of his perceived genius and ability to create a loin cloth out of pretty much anything organic.  Is it fair?  No.  Not everyone can sew like me and allow enough flexibility in the materials used to allow for afternoon squats of tree trunks without embarrassing tear marks in the hemp – but that’s the talent I was born with.  Don’t hate me for it. 

Segwaying back to the motif of time for a moment, I’d like to explain what I mean by the onslaught of time reference earlier.  I’m a list maker by trade and by nature.  If there’s a project that I’m involved with, nothing makes me happier than scratching through an accomplished task lying unknowingly on my list.  As I approach it casually with my writing device I typically trick it with a once by “non-strike” and quickly reverse back and drive the lead straight through its mid-section, allowing me pure pride of knowing it will never live again.  That’s a highlight of my day, sadly.  But what keeps me going is the list revision and execution of that task removal.  As a confirmed, recovering 12-step planner, I have rarely, if ever, completed my long drawn out lists.   Why?  You guessed it – my deep-seated fear of pre-packaged salad!!  Don’t look at me like that!!  You have no idea how that stuff haunts me!!  Some may have responded that maybe I didn’t have enough time to complete my lists, but doesn’t that seem a little too obvious? 

Monday morning was a first for me.  No work to go to, no scheduled conference calls and numerous personal “To Do” lists lying all over my desk at home.  One would think that I would be in Heaven since I now had time to attack my lists with the fervor of the Tasmanian Devil, sans the slobber.  Quite honestly, shock was a more accurate description of how I felt.  Not from the involuntary separation which, by the way, sounds like a medical term: “Umm, Mrs. Murray?  Yes please sit down.  It seems that your husband was involved in  what is frequently referred to as an ‘involuntary separation’.  It happens quite often with middle-aged males.  We may need to operate and remove some of his resume’.  He will look different as a result.  Some parts may be more bulging while others may disappear altogether.  It’s really difficult to say at this moment.  Perhaps you’d like to meet his surgeon, Dr. Headhunter, prior to the interviewing?  Your husband will be in good hands I assure you Mrs. Murray.  The surgeon will be assisted by Nurse Careerbuilder and our Intern Dr. Cheapsuit.  All we can do after the procedure is leave it in the hands of the marketplace.  We’ll post his search results here shortly.  Umm, again, thank you for your support and for creating an account with us.  By the way, the forthcoming spam that will be sent to you is at no additional charge.” All of a sudden I was given time.  More time than ever before.  I was in shock because I had to consider what I would do now that I had time to go after my list and attack all of it instead of the usual 3-4 items in my crosshairs. 

To be completely honest, I was plucked from a scenario that was oftentimes stressful and frequently troubling.  While the love for the people I was fortunate to work with fed my desire to stay, the elevated negative effect on every other element of my life had been showing for quite some time.  I now had time to be still.  This can and usually is very frightening.  But the necessity of stillness in our lives is an element we can’t do without.  Ask any of the stockbrokers who find themselves only minutes away from death’s door due to the intense nature of their chosen profession.  Without stillness, there is only action and noise.  Stillness is where we hear God.  It’s extremely easy to mouth at God that you can’t hear him while you’re embedded in a marriage of “To Do” lists.  I now have an opportunity to create a different list to focus my time on.  Shamefully, few if any of my lists contained the desire to know God more intimately.  I now know the Earth is too small to hide from God.  He can and will pursue us to know us on a deeper level and we should thank Him every day as does so. 

Not sure if anyone got my point.  Perhaps it’s not that important.  One the one hand I guess I just wanted to pull back the gray matter a little for those of you who care to see what a brain that shoots out random thoughts like a machine gun looks like.  On the other hand, I was challenged by some very dear friends and family to take a stab at spewing my perspectives on life and I made a promise.  I made a promise to take a stab at the Blog approach of sharing.  Promises are sacred.  Like a promise to put God in all of my lists now but with the utmost importance not down below with the weekend chores.  No, He deserves the reddest of all red flag importance.

One final thought before you all wish you had never started reading this.  The “time” I am referencing above is all finite time.  We have a duty to love every face that crosses our path, literal or otherwise, while on this earth.  But when we do, we will know that God will give us just enough finite time to do the tasks on His List and more eternal time than we’ll ever need when we’re “plucked” out of this job called life.

-- The Guy with the Distracted Mind