How do you take the word 'account' out of accountable?

I am, by trade, a sick person.  I have deliberately chosen the field of accounting to be my career.  Many people vomit at this point in my self-disclosure.  While that is an understandable reaction and a terrible method for losing weight in the long-run, I am going to embark on a journey that will strive to change your opinion of this remarkable and noble profession.  When I'm done with you, you'll be lusting over debits and fantasizing about getaway weekends with a credit you'd never thought you'd find yourself with, doing math you've never felt comfortable letting yourself perform.  You may even wind up needing a 12-step program for compulsive actuaries, but that will mean that you went too far and will require professional help to resolve the absence of your career inhibitions.  Sort of like Charlie Sheen.

I fell upon the magic of accounting early in life.  It progressed the way most obsessions do.  A casual recordkeeping class led to an introductory course to bookkeeping which almost always leads to introductions to beginning accounting.  My dirty little secret was driven underground for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was due to the potential of getting the living crap beat out of me.  Not that I hadn't prepared my entire life for that result as I clock in at a towering 5”5 ½”.  Oh crap!!  (Voice in Head: “You’re supposed to lie on the Internet about all things physical.”)  Please strike that last comment from the record…… Not that I hadn't prepared my entire life for that result, given my addictively handsome persona and intoxicating way with colored, italicized fonts that make others wonder about the source of  my obsession without drawing attention to my inner flaws. 

You see, I had started down a path seeking out some supply of balance among all the elements in my life.  The really “killer” thing about accounting is this core aspect of balance.  Couple that with a requirement of object identification and you have a disaster waiting to happen for anyone remotely riding the OCD bus.  Things need to have order.  They must have a name.  They must have a home.  They must have a “balanced” diet.  And they shall seek out an Asset ID and assume a category for their useful life.  Useful life – what a killer moniker!!  Maybe that was what I was seeking – a unique Asset ID.  Sure the Social Security Department probably checked off about 4 or 5 boxes towards fulfilling the Armageddon prophecy with that useful little, life-destroying tag.  It does, however, give us a unique identifier – much like our finger prints, our handwriting or our preference in cell phone models.

Let’s see.  We have balance, a unique purpose (must…..extract……third………element…to…..complete…  …triangulation…formula…) and, um, one more thing, like, er, OH YEAH - accountability.  What is accountability?  To me accountability refers to the notion of ownership.  Politicians ironically throw the “A” word around like it was a whiffle ball.  I choose the innocent whiffle ball because in the likely event it catches the wind and blows back to hit them in the head, it won’t hurt.  Our schools and our sports don’t seem to exhibit as much accountability as I believe they once required.  I’d throw in the easy answer of blaming lawyers, but a lawyer has to be put on retainer to be able to “lawyer” on someone’s behalf.  I think what drew me to the final corner of this career triangle, accountability, was being able to identify a source or an origin of some other action. 

Sadly what I like to do in the accounting world is to take a pile of unorganized data/paper and form them into some sort of order.  They then are classified into their respective “homes” and then tracked and monitored against some benchmark of progress or against some other goal.  If they exceed their goal, they are labeled as “favorable” (such an endearing term).  If they fall short of their benchmark, they are shredded immediately before the SEC arrives unannounced and the one way tickets to Bolivia are removed from the safe in the back of the office and presented at the ticket counter along with the corresponding bogus passports.  Actually, they are labeled as you might have guessed – “unfavorable”.  Oh dear, I labeled my work as less than acceptable!!  What if its self-esteem is harmed?!  What if it starts to believe that it is not worthy enough to compete with the other work piles and hangs its head in shame and begins to wear all black and listen to copious amounts of Marilyn Manson music.  What then?  Should I finish the basement and allow it to live there until it feels like returning to the work pile to allow itself to be evaluated again?  No my friends.  The Triangle kicks in.  The balance or imbalance of the contributing factors is evaluated.  The uniqueness of the problem is evaluated – “Is this just a phase?”  The analysis of other elements comes in to play to discover the root cause for the need to wear its hair over one of its eyes.  The components of work pile are further dissected until smaller elements are isolated and the problem can become much clearer when contributing factors are removed.  This is where accountability rolls up its sleeves and begins to point fingers, identifying the sources and amount of “unfavorableness” (not a word until now) in specific areas against a set of goals or a benchmark. 

Not sure if any of this has any spiritual correlation with you, but it does with me.  Our walk is all about the ebb and flow of our faith.  For long periods of time, we may feel that we are on the right path:  Doing God’s work as we hear Him; responding to those around us whom we hear; responding to the Word as we read; and, drawing Christ close to us.  All of these actions draw attack, distraction and obstacles.  Oftentimes, the effort it takes to hear, read and draw causes us to tire or weaken to a level of “unfavorableness.”  It is at this point when a different triangle kicks in – our Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  When an imbalance forms with our unique relationship with God, an intervention by Christ is necessitated.  Christ will reveal the sources to us and the Holy Spirit will direct us to particular elements of our behavior, conduct, thoughts or actions that are core sources for the imbalance.  I can tell you firsthand that this spiritual audit is never a fun part of the journey.  Sometimes it’s so much easier to remain in the basement than face the perceived punishing light above.  But nothing good grows in the cold darkness, only molds and bacteria which are frequent causes of disease.  The difficulty is in taking the first step out of the basement.  The creaky steps of the stairs announce your ascension.  All you want to do is to resume your former “favorableness” without drawing attention to the fact that you’re living in a place where no one wants to visit.  With each step the temperature feels warmer.  The air seems lighter and less suffocating.  The door handle arrives sooner than you imagined but you still have to go through action of turning of the handle.  Will it squeak?  Will those on the other side be waiting with arms crossed and feet tapping wondering what happened to you?  With every ounce of strength you have you turn the handle, fighting the urge to retreat and hide forever.  Something overcomes your fear and suddenly your arm relaxes.  You realize that the door knob is turning with relative ease.  As the door opens you discover a surprise party!!  The crazy thing is that the party is for you!!  Of course the whole (Holy) Triangle is there, but so are a bazillion other believers, many of which had once adorned a black “Metallica” shirt for a period of time and some have worn one on many occasions. 

As creatures of a mighty Creator, we all must understand that our position on the “favorableness” continuum rarely stays in one point for a long period of time. God’s immeasurable grace is something we must never take advantage of but also one which we must never forget.  Mistakes happen, bad choices are made and people are hurt, often unintentionally.  All of these factors affect our “favorableness” but none of them define who we are in eternity.  We should seek out balance in our placement in this world and remember who brought us here.  We must exist in a shattered world and infiltrate our surroundings on His behalf.  We need to remember our uniqueness in our role in God’s plan and be prepared to accept His changes.  And finally, our acceptance of accountability is pivotal in maintaining both balance and uniqueness. 

You may not be ready to sign up for an Intermediate Accounting or Accounting Theory class at this point, but embracing accountability is a life lesson you’ll never regret. 

May your debits always equal your credits.

-- The Guy with the Distracted Mind